I write letters to my husband all the time. I hope that once I’m married and I give him everything I’ve written, that he feels special. But his reaction, his response, is NOT why I’m writing these. Each and every letter helps me more than it will ever impact him.
Yes, he will realize that I’ve loved him for years and years without even knowing him. But each word I write connects my heart to him in a way that nothing else ever could. Each page reminds me that I may be alone now but someday this wait will be worth it. Each thought that I put on paper reminds me to trust God because this guy is going to be absolutely amazing. Sometimes writing him helps me understand my feelings or recognize a sin issue that has been hiding deep beneath the surface. I think these letters are more beneficial to me than they will ever be to my husband.
Normally I wouldn’t share a letter like that with anyone. It would be like letting all of you read someone else’s mail. But I decided to make an exception just this once and give you a taste of a letter I wrote late last night, hopefully it will help you start writing your husbands some of your own:
“I woke up today and missed you. Well…it was happening long before that I guess. I went to sleep missing you. And dreamed of meeting you and woke up missing you more because the image of you and I together faded as my eyes opened. While I slept, I pictured us holding hands. Now all I’m holding is my lonely heart.
“But loneliness isn’t why I miss you. Because just about any guy could solve that problem. Hello, boyfriend. Buh-bye, loneliness. But that wouldn’t fix anything because I don’t just want a guy who will take me out to dinner on a Friday night or tell me I’m beautiful. I want you.
“So I’ll wait for the day that God decides your heart is ready for mine. The day our lives will intersect in the beautiful arrangement God has orchestrated. But honestly, love, I hope that day is soon. Because any second without you is a second I could have spent with you. Every day that passes leaves me with 24 hours less of memories with your name on them. Every week that crawls along brings me 1/52 closer to another year without you by my side…
“I can’t wait for you to be here so that I can hold your hand all the time. So that I can have a screaming war with you at Six Flags. So that you can be my chauffeur to new places because I hate driving when I don’t know where I’m going. So that you can beat up anyone who makes fun of me. So that I’ll always know that at least one person on earth values my opinion. I can’t wait to sing to our favorite songs on the radio. And maybe even make up some of our own. To lay out back and stargaze on a clear, cloudless night. Get stuck in the rain while we’re out on a walk. Cuddle up on the couch some chilly Saturday and turn it into a movie day. To bake new recipes. And then wash all the dirty dishes together. I can’t wait to steal one of your sweatshirts so that I’ll always be able to smell you even if we’re miles apart. I can’t wait to spend a whole weekend with you and not give a thought to college or work. To be able to dress up and do my makeup and go to a fancy restaurant. To have someone who will help me make decisions like where we should go to dinner or what I should order because I just never seem to be able to. I can’t wait for you to tell me if you like my hair long or if I should cut it short because I just can’t decide what I like better. I can’t wait to hear the word beautiful and have it refer to me. To be able to snuggle close to you with your arms wrapped around me as I shiver in an attempt to get warm. I want you to push me to try new things, to overcome my fears, to be the best me possible. I can’t wait to be pampered. To have doors opened for me and drinks refilled. To be dropped off at the front entrance while you go and park and run through the rain. So that I can stay warm and dry and loved. I can’t wait to have fun with you. To be able to have tickle wars and pillow fights and inside jokes. To laugh at every little thing and enjoy each second together.
“But you know what I’m most excited about? The love part. I can’t wait to know that someone loves me. And it won’t matter if I have spinach stuck in my teeth or ketchup on my face. It won’t matter if my hair is sticking up all over the place or if I have a stain on my shirt. You’ll still love me even when I’m cranky or grumpy or nasty or annoying or immature. On Sundays and Mondays and Saturdays and all the days in between. Each and every year for the rest of my life. But it’s not even just that part… You’ll be voluntarily offering the rest of your life to me. That blows my mind. You won’t just love me. You’ll love me for forever and you won’t ever, ever stop. Just the thought of that makes me feel so valuable, so precious. Why you would pick me is beyond my ability to comprehend. But I guess that was your decision and I’m so glad….
“Someday I’ll be able to hold your hand. I’m already excited so don’t be surprised if I never let go. Someday, I’m gonna wear your ring. And don’t be surprised when I squeal. Because I will. And even if I hate it, I’ll love it because it’s from you.
Your other half”