This season of singleness is growing us in patience and teaching us how to trust in God. 1 Corinthians 4:17-18 encourages us, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” We may temporarily be experiencing an uncomfortable season of loneliness and confusion. Of doubt and impatience. But this time is for our benefit.
In Eric and Leslie Ludy’s book, “When God Writes Your Love Story” (an amazing read, by the way), they share a story of Eric’s sister, Krissy. She is asked by her brother Mark if she is destined for singleness. Her answer is simply, “Today I am.” Such a simple answer, but so profound. Until we walk down the aisle on the arm of our daddy . . . until we are given away to the man we love . . . until we are actually married . . . we are destined for singleness. We do not know if God’s plan for us includes singleness forever, but until He brings someone, we should be serving Him and living for Him—and Him alone.
Does your life have purpose? Or are you sitting in your rocker with a book in your hand, staring out the window and waiting for Mr. Prince Charming to ride up on his horse? Paul hands us a deep truth in Philippians 4:11: “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”
You don’t know how long your season of singleness will be. Everyone’s is different. It could be a year, a decade, or, if it is God’s will, forever. We should not be sitting by the window moping and sighing until our future husband appears. Instead, we should be preparing. 1 Corinthians 7:34-35 tells us that “an unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.” Don’t waste your single years pining for your future husband; use this fruitful time, free of distractions, for your advantage.
Joshua Harris says in his book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”: “Although we don’t sin when we look forward to marriage, we might be guilty of poor stewardship of our singleness when we allow a desire for something God obviously doesn’t have for us yet to rob our ability to enjoy and appreciate what He has given us.” He goes on to say: “Let’s live our todays for His kingdom and entrust our tomorrows to His providence.”
Ladies, I challenge all of you to use your singleness to its fullest potential. I encourage you to seek Christ, not marriage. Let me warn you, it will not always be easy. But why waste the time God has given us now just because we are impatiently looking toward that which He has not given us yet?
Is God calling you to the mission field? Are you hesitating because of a fear that says if you go you will never marry? Is God calling you to pursue a specific career that you’re putting off as you search for Prince Charming? Is He asking you to begin a ministry but your fear is causing you to hesitate? Are you being led to volunteer at a local hospital, homeless shelter, pregnancy care center, or nursing home? Is God calling you to Himself but you haven’t noticed because you are too busy planning your future wedding? If God is calling you to do something, DO IT.
Stop obsessing over an earthy prince and start obeying your Heavenly prince. Stop searching for romance and instead turn to the Lord. Stop looking to marriage or a dating relationship to fulfill you. Stop believing that only a boyfriend or husband can satisfy you; that only romance can erase your loneliness. Instead of chasing after what the world says will satisfy, seek God. He alone can fulfill us.
I have a few questions to ask you. What if you are not married for another five years? Or what if you have to wait another decade to be a wife? Would you really want to waste that abundance of time moping?
You may feel that the suspense of not knowing when or who or how is killing you. Yet, honestly consider the possibility that your married days may not even be remotely near. Instead of pining, we should be using our singleness to learn what it means to rely on God. We should be using these years to become the woman that God created for us to be. Instead of putting our life on hold as we wait for a man to come into our life, we should be using our singleness to serve God in ways that would not be possible if we were married. Instead of chasing after guys, we should be chasing after God.
The purpose of our life should be to glorify God wherever we are (2 Corinthians 5:9) and in all that we do (1 Corinthians 10:31). I pray that you seek to glorify your Heavenly father wherever He has placed you—whether in the camp of marriage or singleness.